So...I made it. My thesis committees were a giant success. I have an uphill battle of figuring out the space in the gallery for my show and how I will install my a bit too ambitious work...but, with a little faith and a digital level from Home Depot—I think I can hold my own this June.
I will be graduating with an MFA from one of the most prestigious art institutions in the country. Wow. It's mind boggling, really.
What does it all mean? People often ask me what I do for a living and it was so easy to just say that I studied photography. The expectation is, of course, to graduate and do commercial work for a magazine or shoot weddings so I can make a living. So, now that I'm graduating...
Panic:
How do I explain that I am in dialogue with fine art photography with a capital F? How do I explain to people who value mcmansions and luxury SUVs that I didn't go to school to get a better job to make more money? How do I defend my choice to be an artist or to live against these social pressures?
Can I survive alongside these people or will I have to move to an area where education and abstract thinking is valued? Do I have what it takes to continue this theoretical track of study into a Phd program or tenure track teaching or criticism? If I have children, does my critical mind disappear?
So. I am trying to slow down my mind. I am trying to breathe and meditate on the fact that I am exactly where I have always wanted to be. I am in a good place. I am making my work, I am questioning and I am sustaining a quality life.
No second guessing.
2 comments:
Congratulations, friend! It's been a long road, but I knew you would do it - and do it well! <3 You are a gifted artist and thinker (and... hey wait a minute! Is your panic about your critical mind disappearing based on my example!?!?! ;) ).
...And how do you keep on keepin' on against the naysayers who think that life is about acquiring things and that if you don't have a big screen tv and boat to show for your efforts then it wasn't worth it? The same way you have been - you just do it, and you do it well, and you remember Who has called you to - and gifted you for - this work. There are people in my life who are disappointed that I am not teaching English at the college level (I think I told you I was offered something; in exchange for accepting the position, I would have to work towards my masters and PhD, as they would have hired me before I started towards it) - and heck, that I'm not teaching at all anymore. Someone even told me us being in Africa was a waste of money for college. And when I decided to stay home? Well, forget it!
My point, of course, is this: Of course there will be people who disapprove and disagree, but be confident of this, friend: You truly are gifted at this, and somehow in the midst of doubts, know that God has a plan for you that involves your art and His world. I don't know exactly what it is, and maybe you don't, either, but He does. I hope His voice for you will be louder than all those who disapprove of your choices.
Congrats again, friend, and I can't wait to see you! <3 xoxo
-C :)
@Christie (the only one who reads this blog...lol.)
That was not a stab at any Moms I know necessarily. I promise.
(And I didn't know that about the teaching position?? Wow. It's unheard of now to hire someone to teach a college level course without a Master's degree in hand already—unless the place has a unique accreditation. In fact, I am hard pressed to find many high school teachers without masters degrees anymore. Crazynuts.)
The rant was mostly because the few people that have careers I emulate started very young or are broke as dirt doing what they love or are entirely committed to research over a family. I am encouraged by my mentor Bibiana who is married to an artist and both have terminal degrees and are chairs of prestigious institutions and travel as a family a lot. But, they started their careers so young and I get a bit discouraged thinking about that.
It was so amazing to hear some of the faculty encouraging me to teach or go for the Phd this past visit to MICA. But, one faculty member, who I respect a great deal, said in few such words that while my enthusiasm makes my writing interesting, I have a long way to go before I'm "there." He gave me some horror stories about pursuing a Phd and it...spooked me.
The Phd thing would lock me into a particular commitment for 5 more years. But, I'd also be funded and be able to teach while I did it. Which is like a kind of job security. But, it's ALOT of work that I don't know if I'm ready for.
Just don't know what my next step is...my degree is the mostly in philosophy and theory of making art. lol...Hello Michael's farming department! hahahaha
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