You deserved so much better, Mom. Gnight...I love you. 

I hope you are in heaven tonight and that you are happy, comfortable, safe and pink. 

Addendum: 1:34 am...Can't sleep...

I miss our conversations. We would debate and volley words back and forth. I'm such a strong willed person. Sometimes I would cross the line...but, you always opened yourself back up to me. We had the best conversations. You knew that my passion was hard to wield. You always took an interest in what I had to say no matter the cost.  You always had time for me. Your mind was incredibly sharp. You would dual with me and challenge me...in the last year or two it got harder for you to form your words. The chemo took away your facility for words. For most of my life, you were incredible at communicating. We knew it was pretty bad when in the last month or two you stopped reading. You were always reading. I don't have many memories of you without a book nearby. My mom the bibliophile. I miss you so much. I miss your philosophy and wisdom and view of the world. I miss every bit of it. I go to sleep hoping you will appear in my dreams so we can talk again. My dearest friend and fellow learner...the one who loved research as much as I do...